"The Farce is Strong with Them it is!"

SUTEKI Simon Sings Spiritial Shitenisum Shitakusa Psalms

As part of Shiten’s “Bonsai Education and Care in the Community Programme” we often send out our disciples to spread the Shiten Way to Bonsai Clubs and individuals alike.  Last night saw Shiraz slurping SUTEKI Simon visit Kent’s premier, forward thinking and proactive Club, Maidstone Bonsai Society, to help enlighten their membership on the use and enjoyment of Accents in Bonsai.  Being a local lad, and the fact that Les had buggered off to the Caribbean, we thought that the MBS’s ex-Chairperson* would be a good fit as a friendly face always puts people at ease, so he was sobered up and shipped out to spread the Storey of Shitenisum. 

Maybe not as sober as we had hoped it appeared, “ello, my name is Simon, I’m an alcoholic and have been invited here for your entertainment tonight” was his greeting to the MBS membership which left his fellow Clay Crusader thinking that the evening could end in tears!  Far from shocking the audience it seemed to comfort them in that this poor individual, a humble clay-penter, had seen the shining Shiten light and was there to help them onto the path to the Promised Land.  Fortunately for the assembled congregation it seemed that Simon had already turned enough water into wine so turning off the Hall’s stopcock was not necessary!

It does seem that Andy needn’t have worried after all as miraculously not a wobble or a slur was seen or heard from Shiten’s Sauvignon supping Super Hero. More surprisingly it’s reported that most, if not all, of his sermon ACTUALLY made sense!  It appears that after many years of various Bonsai Beer Crawls finally seem to be paying dividends as it seems that some of the knowledge passed on to him by much greater minds than his own seems to be staying in that scary space between his ears.  We don’t know what goes on it that dark, infested place and we don’t wanna but sometimes it can come up with the odd gem and it appears that last night could well be his Shitest Hour. 

The question now arises, does Shiten have another doppelganger replacing its members with someone drinking “sensible juice” or has he finally seen the light leading to the true path of Shitenisum and forgone the temptation of the grape?  

Rest assured that we firmly expect normal service to be resumed with us finding him sitting in a corner, rocking and saying “wibble” in the not too distant future!

 (*well, we can’t call him a “man” can we!)

Shiten Simon Scarring Someone Soon!