Friday, 21 August 2015

Sly Shiten Simon’s Show Stopper Surprises Sickly Storey

The "Grown-Up Baby" was once again as
much use as a chocolate teapot!
After Shiten’s Summer Sabbatical, the Shiten massive, and no that’s not a reference to Simon’s belly, was in full effect at the Bonsai World Show at the K2 Sports Centre in Crawley.  This year marks the 3rd Edition of the Show and the exhibits seem to get better year on year but, as is the Shiten Way, Les, Simon and Andy were there to show exhibitors EXACTLY how it’s NOT supposed to be done!

As is quickly becoming customary Sickly Storey once again left all the set-up and “arty-farty stuff” to the Clay Crusaders and when he did eventually put in an appearance on the Saturday morning (after all the work was done of course) he was doing his best Cliff Richard impersonation being all “wired for sound” – fortunately he forgot his tennis racket!  With the trees all in place, superbly complimented by Andy’s fantastic Gafu-Ten display, it was all hands on deck to help Sulky Simon set up his stall with his eagerly awaited, his words not ours, “Black Collection”.  When setting up his stall, the norm these days is for to Frog Boy bounce around like he was on a hot lily pad.  With most, if not all, offers of help being rebuffed it seems that he prefers to play the martyr rather than accepting his fellow Shite’s offers of help – num-nuts!

With the Show about to open judging was taking place around the hall and unbeknown to our Little Shites it was to have a sting in the tail. Behind the back of Lethargic Les, Sméagol Simon had snuck one of Les’s trees into his Mame display, naughty little Hobbitses, to no doubt make his display less Shiten – well boy was he in for a surprise!  It appears it’s not what you know but who you know these days and it appears that Simon’s ruse was rumbled by some such person as Les’s little Hinoki Cypress scooped top Mame Tree in Show and not one of his own “efforts”.  This award surprised the Sickly Storey no end as he didn’t even know that the tree was being used on the Shiten display.  That’ll learn ya young Frogs Spawn that you are – quality always shines through!

Our "novel" way of displaying our scrolls!

Gafu Class act

A Simon/Storey Shohin Combo

Sunday dawned hot and sunny once again but unfortunately the upbeat mood was quickly spoilt by Simon’s Manic Mame Meltdown, possibly a side effect of the previous days shock Award.  By the time he and the understanding Mr Pearson had arrived at the venue he’d worked himself into such a little tizzy that common sense went out of the window (along with most of the toys from his pram!).  Many a professional or experienced artist alike were being accosted, with plenty taking to hiding under tables or behind curtains, as the Mame Maniac whizzed around the Traders stalls like the Tasmanian Devil but much less adorable.  The look on the poor Frogy’s face was a picture of despair and despondency as the pot quest turned into a comedy version of Goldilocks*, well funny for the onlookers at least, and no amount of E-numbers or Wine Gums could cheer our little Shiten-Spawn’s mood.

They say that “every cloud has a silver lining” and many of us had gone a lot more Silver during the Mame Mayhem but it would appear that “Sampson Saves the Day” with a delightful little pot from under the counter – you know what I mean guv, brown paper bags and the like?  Superstar Dave, supplier to the stars and sometimes Simon, is the purveyor of fantastic stones, stands and Japanese pots and must be included as an Honorary Shite as he was the original owner of Les’s fantastic Blackthorn.  Again this fine gentleman came up trumps with what was agreed was a fantastic little pot – or could it be a bit small?

No doubt the saga will continue as it usually does with Simon, so watch, or don’t watch, this space – the choice is yours!

*too large, too small and nothing quite right!