Thursday, 18 August 2016

Shiten Pouge's Gallery Pt.8

Name: Dougie Mudd
AKA: Fingers
Position: Shiten Coffin Maker
Status: Having a snooze
Claim to Fame: Still being able to count to ten without taking his socks off!

Some people say that they would give their right arm to be a member of the SBS but this man NEARLY did do it – bloody attention seeker!  More Chip’n’board than Chippendale this prover of the ply and master of MDF can knock up a fair orange box so thought that he’d try his hand at bonsai stand making.  He soon became a Shiten supplier, we do like a bit of marine ply us, and was granted membership after his tantrum after NOT being mentioned in despatches after the Noelanders Shiten Display of 2016 – what a big girls blouse!

Thursday, 11 August 2016

Shiten Pouge’s Gallery Pt.7

Name: Will Baddeley
AKA: Woodnibbler
Position: Artistic Dictator
Status: Covered in Sawdust
Claim to Fame: Displaying a "dead" tree at Gingko

Hedge poaching ex-chorister Will’s rise to Artistic Dictator was seen by some as “sudden” but he had been on our radar for some time. The Suffolk Spectacled Shite’s speciality is making deadwood look, well, dead, and we thought that this would be advantageous due to the rate that Les kills trees, especially Yews. Since the Balding Bearded Bonsaist joined our ranks standards have continued to plummet so it seems that his longer term membership, and leadership, should continue to help us sink to even deeper depths of shite!

Wednesday, 10 August 2016

Shiten Pouge’s Gallery Pt.6

Name: Alex Mai Tai Bonsai
AKA: Dusty
Position: Member (Probationary)
Status: Buying Pots
Claim to Fame: Giving Faisel a run for his money!

Smooth, suave, sophisticated ceramics connoisseur Alex is a recent convert to the cause.  Introduced to us by our Shiten Interpreter Alex was soon showing Shiten tendencies and first exposed himself as a Shite at the Heathrow Show last year. Feared and revered on auction sites across the globe his battle cry of “BIN” reveals more about his past than he thought as after further investigations we have found that he is in fact the lovechild of Ted Rogers!

Tuesday, 9 August 2016

Shiten Pouge’s Gallery Pt.5

Name: Jose
AKA: Sam
Position: Shiten Interpreter
Status: Making Beautiful Gardens
Claim to Fame: Excellent sense of direction!
Jose’s Shiten journey started as a spiritual seeking out of the ceramic sensei Stone Monkey in 2012. Since then he has never lost his vision, but sometimes his way, and was converted to Shitenisum a few years later. Often filling in when Les couldn’t be bothered, Jose’s faith, and membership, was tested when he represented Gibraltar in the European Final of the New Talent Contest. He later confessed and repented his sins and admitted that life was better on the daft-side!

Monday, 8 August 2016

Shiten Pouge’s Gallery Pt.4

Name: Simon Jones
AKA: Ginga Ninja
Position: Fire Safety Officer (Provisional)
Status: Being a Cock
Claim to Fame: The World’s most expensive bonfire

Simon's war cry of "your trees are shite" should and could have got him automatic membership to the brotherhood but at the time we were worried that his shy and retiring nature may have been damaged by all the fame of being a total shite.  Often confused, and a founder member of GAP (Ginge And Proud), Simon's true Shitenisum soon became apparent and his membership could be overlooked no longer.