Tuesday, 8 March 2016

Captain Cranium’s Costa Compulsion Causes Concern!

Stardate 28-02.0920.2
Medical emergency!
Intrepid Captain Storey is laid low after cowardly Costa activists slip an alien bug into his latte which worked its way to his brain causing our hero light headiness and unable to operate heavy machinery.  It appears that after a while the alien intruder got lonely rattling around in Les’s noggin and self-destructed, emergency averted!

Les looked worse before
he looked better!
Stardate 28-02.1000
Early reports form the Shiten security detail outlined strange sounds and smells emanating from certain sectors of the Starbase but this was finally put down to some delegates recent trip to the Vindaloonian Empire in search of sustenance.  Unfortunately, this did leave a foul stench of decay in the air although with a slight hint of poppadum’s I understand!  With the venue decontaminated and the culprits vaporised (well outta gas anyway!) early negotiations began between the delegates from the Trade Federation and the Exhibiting factions within this fair hobby of Bonsai.  Bargains had and alliances forged for future it was soon time for ……………………………………….

Simon tries to to look "normal",
I think his shirt ran!
Stardate 28-02.1030
Shirkers, slackers and exhibitors alike had finally done, or not done, their bits so it was time to release the airlocks to allow the great, the good and the gullible into this miniature Winter paradise.  Taffs & Sweaties, Wirralites & Carrot Crushers, Hobbits, halflings and even the lesser spotted pigmy Suffolk Sheep Stalkers all rubbed shoulders united under the universal Banner of Bonsai.  Even some of the warring factions temporarily laid down their arms, and the odd leg, for a brief while and shared a brew, or two, in 10-Forward.  Such is the popularity of this Intergalactic event we had to emergency transport in our own crack Shiten Translator and Communications Officers Spangish Sam and Mai-Tai Bonsai to help us decipher the host of alien dialects that we encountered – why can’t everyone just talk bloody Shiten?

Stardate 28-02.1130
The Starbase is now totally packed with delegates and Ferengi types trying to negotiate acquisitions in their favour, as normal, but our Shits Patrols stood fast and gave as good as they got.  Communications are always difficult at events like this but fortunately Ensign Kitty Gibson furnished the away team, and a few hangers on (you know who you are!) with Shiten Comms Badges which also helped identify friend from foe – quite fortunate in these Shiten times.

During the morning a throw back to a popular 70’s comic could be seen with odd looking folk with what could only be described as “sticks” aimlessly walking around the exhibit area.  Intelligence, a major Shiten attribute, came in that they were not actually auditioning for the next re-make of Judge Dread but were in fact on a mission of their own.  What that was, and the results, for good or ill, would have to wait until later in the day!