Sunday, 31 January 2016

Holy Hairpiece! Shiten Storey’s Shock Selection

This years Shiten Road Trip to the Noelanders Trophy saw the great and the good from our esteemed outfit* descend on Genk in Belgium.  With the success of our recruitment drive over the last 12 months more than half a dozen of our “lesser risk” Shites went to play Bonsai’n’Beer leaving some of the higher risk candidates safe in the UK to attend “Homelanders”.  Andy “Gafu” Pearson once again proudly carried the Shiten Banner into Europe’s top Bonsai event but there were whispered rumours of a more worrying disturbance in the Force namely a Shiten display – could this be true?

Somehow Shiny-headed Slimy Scouse Shite Storey Slithered the first ever Shiten tree into a selection only Bonsai event for the first, and possibly last, time - has the world gone stark raving normal?  Unfortunately, due to the “no photographs” policy at this very popular event we cannot post an image of the tree in all its glory, so here it is!

 As difficult as it is for me to type this “credit where credit is due” and Peter, sorry, Les has done a fantastic job with the tree over the years despite his sometimes harsh treatment of it like locking it in a fridge just for flowering.  If there was a horticultural version of Childline then I’d be on the blower straight away – people like him should be locked up!

As with all things Shiten we do like to share the pain wherever possible and the whole display was totally Shite(n)
– Accent Pot made by Stone Monkey, hand decorated by Brother Storey, logo designed by Shiten Simon and the pot for the tree itself was a Stone Monkey commission.

Much to the dismay of the so called Sensible Bonsai Community the main Shiten Strikeforce arrived on Saturday with the likes of Shiten Artist Dictator Will “Woodnibbler” Baddeley and Shiten’s Fire Safety Officer Si “Ginga Ninja” Jones leading the first wave of abuse.  They were also joined by the more serene members of the crew Alex “Mai-Tai” Bonsai and Jose “I’ll get you lost anywhere” Redondo along with their “muscle” ‘arry & Faz.  As generally appears to be the case when Psycho Simon is safely locked away, there were no reports of any general disruption at the event, or assaults on peoples senses with his crimes against fashion!  Does this mean that Shiten is now becoming an accepted part of the Bonsai Community as a whole?  Perish the thought.

Some honour for the Club was actually restored as some on lookers “didn’t get” Les’s tree and thought that it was unkept and hadn’t been styled, ergo, shite – Phew, what a relief, I was getting worried for a moment there!  It’s good to see that the naturalistic teachings of our Shiten Sensai’s is confusing the unbelievers of the Shitenisum movement and long may we be the leading light in all things Shite!

On a serious note (oh no, do I REALLY have to, it makes my fingers burn) a huge CONGRATULATIONS to spiritual brother Warren Radford on wining the event with a deciduous tree.  His Maple looked absolutely stunning naked and in its anti-que pot, a real show stopper.  Well done sir and I can’t wait to see Medusa in a few years time – that will be mind-blowing.

Warren you don't need to to bribe him, it's the other bald one you want!
And finally, for all you killjoys who didn’t attend the Bingo on the Saturday night, shame on you, your all snobs and don’t know how to have a good time – so there!

(*did I really type that out load?)

1 comment:

  1. Big fan! Thank you so much for this light in my life. :D