I don't know who maintains his "weave" but it ain't him!
It seems that Bonsai is fast being seen as a “dangerous sport” with a spate of quite serious illnesses of late, along with the very sad passing of the wonderful Ray Ward and the inspiring Paul Goff recently, news hit the desk of the Shiten Massive that one of our students (I do use this term very loosely!) had been admitted to hospital very, very unwell. Marc, Maidstone Bonsai Society’s Secretary, (complete with comedy breasts and revealing miniskirt) and sometime Shiten warrior has an affliction to wiring and upon being told by John Armitage at the Capel Manor Show that his Juniper needed wiring went a funny colour. Palming the job off, as usual, seemed the order of the day but due to more serious commitments of his designated wirier (mainly watching paint dry etc) his tree remained in need of attention. In an attempt to get out of his chores, and no doubt leaving it to his long standing lovely wife as usual, he took it upon himself to be hospitalised with pneumonia! Following a visit from Shiten’s roving reporter and NHS 111 Guru* Les it was confirmed that he “was not very well”.
Unfortunately (for his trees at least!), we can report the Malingering Marc is now back at home and recovering well – i.e. slacking! It would be expected at this point for the SBS to wish Marc well for a speedy recovery but that’s not the Shiten Way! Now, due to this incident, Shiten is going to have to examine its health policy and might well now have to introduce the disclosure of full medical records, and a possible medical, for any student looking to partake in future Shiten events. It is always the case that the minority spoils it for the majority and this selfish act of hospitalisation again proves that our vetting process may well need an overhaul – thanks a lot bud!
Shiten does in fact have a message for our sickly student “get off your fat arse, back down the Club and wire your own bloody trees!” Love, Peace & Bananas buddy.
*It cannot, at this time, be confirmed whether Nurse Les went “in uniform”, complete with suspenders and peep-hole bra, but investigations are continuing.