Thursday, 8 January 2015

SUTEKI’s Sensei’s Shocking Shiten Suspension

Stonemonkey Hoists International Trophy

Following yesterday’s disturbing and shocking news from Japan, and following a lengthy meeting of the Shiten Executive Committee, Stone Monkey Ceramics (SMC) has been suspended from all Club activities with immediate effect.  Mr Andrew Judas Pearson, SMC’s chief executive, will therefore relinquish any associations that he may, or may not, have with the SBS until a full and thorough judicial enquiry in to any wrong doing can take place.  Any breach of these conditions could see further sanctions being taken.

WARNING:- Some readers might find the following images disturbing!


Although some details are still sketchy it seems that a UPS delivery destined for their recycling division (as the Shiten Committee had been told by Mr Pearson) ended up at the Gafu-Ten Show in Japan.  SMC collaborators then infiltrated the event and hijacked a display area for many hours before a peaceful compromise was negotiated.  It is understood, although cannot be confirmed, that a series of brown envelopes was exchanged between the hijackers and the officials which lead to his unglazed pots “winning” a First Placed Certificate. It must also be noted it is still unclear if his was the ONLY entry in this section.

Meanwhile back in the UK, SMC’s stocks skyrocketed with people trying to cash in their “Stone Monkey Collection” on the back of the wave of his success.  Unfortunately, later in the day with the rumours circulating about any action to be taken by the Shiten Executive his company’s shares plummeted and were later suspended by the London Pot Exchange.  When Mr Pearson was approached he informed this reporter that he was too busy to comment at this time as he out celebrating with his new wife.  It is also unclear at this point Mrs Pearson’s part, if any, in the deception – investigations continue.

It still remains unclear whether Shiten is being targeted by radical individuals or by the Bonsai Community at large to undermine their hard work at taking the hobby to a different level.  For obvious, and legal reasons, the Shiten Committee are unable to comment at this time but did make a statement that they were “deeply sadden and distressed” at the news which had arisen but maybe not too surprised at the “underhand and self centred behaviour of Mr Pearson”.

More news will be available when we’ve made it up – watch this space.

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